


Snow

by fab_fan



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Angst, Battle, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Death, Drama, F/F, Friendship, Light Angst, Love, One Shot, Random & Short, Regret and Don't Regret, Short, Short One Shot, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, War, What did you expect from me, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27444730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan
Summary: It looked like it was snowing.Raelle swallowed thickly, the bitter taste of copper coating the back of her throat and spreading across her tongue like warm honey. Like it used to when she visited her grandma and would get freshly baked biscuits slathered in the glistening golden sweetness that caused her hands to become sticky and her belly to feel fuller than it did for months afterward. Dull blue eyes the color of the early morning fog that sometimes graced Fort Salem stared up toward the blistering blood red sky.She’d never seen snow before.
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 33
Kudos: 94





	Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here we are. All regrets are my own, I suppose. Enjoy!

It looked like it was snowing.

Raelle swallowed thickly, the bitter taste of copper coating the back of her throat and spreading across her tongue like warm honey. Like it used to when she visited her grandma and would get freshly baked biscuits slathered in the glistening golden sweetness that caused her hands to become sticky and her belly to feel fuller than it did for months afterward. Dull blue eyes the color of the early morning fog that sometimes graced Fort Salem stared up toward the blistering blood red sky.

She’d never seen snow before.

Not till she spent her first winter at Fort Salem. A brief dusting of wintery white splattered across the tarmac as she marched toward the plane that would take her back to China. 

It had been little more than a puff of smoke in the cold. Quickly disappeared when she reached up to touch it, the infinitely small flake melting the moment it came into contact with her gloved finger. 

She didn’t know what it felt like, but she imagined it was soft. Gentle. Like a whisper. Something so delicate yet so strong, gone the moment it left tender lips and brushed against an ear. 

The snow turned to dirt, to sand, as she made the journey across the world, flying over an ocean and speeding through time zones until it was as if she was in a different world, a different planet.

Back on soil that haunted her dreams. Inhabited her nightmares. That, late at night, she could still taste, gritty and dry, in her mouth. Mixed with the melted liquid iron that taunted her lips. Hot and desolate.

Sometimes, she woke up believing she was still there. Her chest screaming in pain, unable to think, a distant explosion echoing in her head.

Sometimes she wondered if this was the dream. If she was still there.

Waiting for it to stop.

To end.

Surrounded by nothing but brown and bleakness. Death and decay. Wordlessly hoping she didn’t take her friend with her. 

Not wanting to be alone, but wishing more than anything she was.

But, blinking her hazy eyes open, she glanced upward, and it was like snow. White flakes floating against the blazing backdrop. It was so hot, yet, all she could think about was that, if one of those flakes were to touch her face, it would be cold. Wet. Icy.

It would feel like a calming caress. A cool hand cupping her cheek as she awoke. Cradled her as sleep slowly slipped away to be replaced by the new dawn of another day.

She could almost feel the hand against her skin. Tender. Loving. 

Through the falling flakes she could make out deep stormy blue eyes. Eyes that changed like the seasons. One minute, adoring and like pillows she could sink into, let comfort and keep her safe. Another minute, roiling like the waves of an angry sea, fierce and sharp, ready to burn into whomever they landed on. They could be intelligent. Witty. Studious. Curious. Soft and hard and affectionate and hateful.

They could be so many things.

Yet, they were always there. Always calling to her. Wanting her. Needing her. Keeping her close.

They were always with her. When she closed her eyes, there they were. When she turned her head just so or breathed in just right, she could feel them on her.

They were her constant companion.

The thing she could always search for. Hold on to. Believe in. Trust. Even when she shouldn’t, even when every single voice inside and out told her not to, she put everything she ever felt into those eyes. Would follow them to the deepest darkest pits of hell. Let them lead her to the warmest gentlests most peaceful parts of heaven or purgatory or the otherworld. Would fall to her knees and worship at their altar. 

She would kiss the lips those eyes belonged to as if it were the only thing she was born to do.

Sometimes she thought it was.

Her only purpose being to love the woman who held her heart. The woman she would always love, no matter what.

Coughing, Raelle let her eyes slowly blink. Her lashes felt heavy. Her body was sore. Tired. 

So tired.

Yet, it kept snowing.

It was beautiful.

“ _Raelle_!”

The dust and sand kicked up beside her as bodies crashed at her side. She felt the world shift. A monstrous roar screamed in her ears as the snow turned to ash and the gorgeous red sunrise turned into a scorching inferno of flames.

“Shit.” Abigail pressed her hands against the blonde’s stomach, twisting her head as Tally huddled near her, another soldier standing just behind them as a few more circled around. “Raelle, hey!”

“Raelle, can you hear us?” Tally bent over her, “Hey, look at me, ok?”

Raelle squinted up at the redhead, “Tal?” Liquid bubbled up against her teeth, staining them as it trickled out to paint her lips and chin.

Abigail pressed down harder on her stomach. A pain so intense Raelle saw stars sliced through her, and the girl grimaced, body jerking, “Fuck.”

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Abigail muttered under her breath. “What were you thinking? Are you crazy?”

Raelle coughed, red streaked air spitting up in a pained haze. 

_The ground shook as the Camarilla unleashed another seed, a powerful wind slamming into the line of soldiers slowly advancing forward. The witches held their ground, arms raised in an attempt to block the strike. The moment the windstrike passed, only knocking a handful back, all hell broke loose._

_Witches rushed forward, meeting the masked murderers with whipping scourges and deadly knives. The clash was deafening as weapons met and bodies began to fall. Fire raged as prisoners burned, tall wooden stakes driven into the ground, their agonized cries ripped from their chests as they desperately worked to free themselves from the ropes holding them in place, keeping them captive._

_Chaining them to death._

_Smoke covered the ground, blocking out anything from sight that wasn’t a few inches from her face. Raelle stumbled through the chaos, ducking and weaving, her bag slamming against her thigh and eyes darting back and forth for any sign of the injured._

_The witches kept moving forward, fighting and bleeding and dying._

_Raelle pulled her knitted scarf further up her face, a gift from Khalida, to block out the smoke and spun around._

_That’s when she started to spot them._

_She raced up to the first witch splayed out on the ground, red pooling under her._

_“Hey,” Raelle dove to her knees. “Look at me.”_

_Terrified eyes landed on Raelle’s._

_“Good. Keep looking at me.” Raelle placed her hands around the base of the soldier’s neck, “I got you. Just keep looking at me.”_

Another sharp jab of pain caused Raelle to cough pitifully, “Shit, Abs.”

“Hold still.” Abigail reached for her hand.

Instantly knowing what the other girl was going to do, Raelle shuffled her hand away. They were not doing that again. “Where’s...where’s King?” Another fixer.

The only other fixer nearby.

“We don’t know.” Tally took a breath, “Raelle, we need you to tell us what to do.” She held Raelle’s eyes, the meaning clear.

Raelle was hurt.

And it was more than a Knower and a Blaster were trained for.

_The ground exploded, dust and dirt and rocks flying into the air as the shockwave rammed into anyone within reach. Raelle ducked down, using her body to cover the witch she was trying to fix. She felt stones smash into her back, and she did her best to cover the whimpering woman beneath her._

_A cracked broken rock tore across her shoulder, cutting through her uniform. She bit back the sharp cry that filled her lungs and used her back to block the beaten soldier from the deadly debris._

“Raelle?” Tally grasped her hand, “Tell me what to do.”

_Crouched behind a wall that used to be a home in the tiny witch community before the war hit, Raelle poked her head up to scan the area. She could see the bodies littering what had been the road, some moving, most not._

_Sliding back down, she peeked over at Treefine and Glory, “Think they’re behind that building. I can get to those still alive, but someone needs to take them out.”_

_“You’re sure?” Treefine lifted her head to take her own look, “Thought you were a fixer not a knower.”_

_Raelle ignored her and looked at Glory, “I can’t see anything on the scry.” She never could. That had been Tally’s thing._

_Glory shrugged. Neither could she. “I’ll cover you.”_

_Treefine snorted, “This is crazy. We don’t know how many are out there. If they’re even where Collar thinks they are. Everyone out there is dead.”_

_“They’re not.” Raelle growled, “I’m not leaving anyone behind.”_

_She was never going to leave anyone behind._

_Ever._

_“I believe you, Raelle.” Glory nodded. “If you go, Beth and I can take out whoever is out there. We got your back.”_

_Raelle met her brown eyes._

_Then, with a nod, she hoisted herself up and over the wall._

Raelle tried to breathe, but it hurt. 

God did it hurt.

Finally looking down, she felt her heart stutter.

Abigail's hands, once again covering her stomach, were soaked in blood.

Her entire uniform was dark with blood. Soaked through and dripping into a puddle on the already red ground.

_Raelle crawled to her knees as the newly healed witch attempted to sit up. She caught a glimpse of Glory singing, hands outstretched._

_She didn’t see Treefine._

_“Go. Over the wall.” Raelle barked to the soldier. The woman nodded and began to creep away._

_Raelle spun around, planting one foot as she made to lunge toward the next body, praying silently there was still a heartbeat._

_She didn’t see the Camarilla man, face covered and stolen vocal cords strapped to his throat._

_Didn’t see the windstrike coming until the jagged stone wall was exploding towards her._

Raelle bit her lip hard, tasting the blood and bile burning in her throat. “Bells?”

“Yeah, Rae?” Abigail used her full weight to try to stem the bleeding. She glanced at Tally, “Where’s the other fixer?”

Raelle tried to catch her breath, “I...You need…”

“What? What do I need to do? We can link.”

“You’re shit at linking.” Raelle coughed. 

Abigail hadn’t gotten any better since basic.

It had been an ongoing joke.

“I can do it.” Tally volunteered.

Raelle shook her head, “No. You...it’s...no.”

Tally wasn’t trained for this.

She could see things others couldn’t.

She couldn’t heal things others could see.

They each had their role. 

Raelle’s was to fix, not theirs.

It had never been theirs.

“Ok, ok. What do we need to do?” Abigail asked, doing everything she could to remain calm, “Talk to me, shitbird.” The leader that always hummed just beneath the surface emerged, pushing past the fear and dread.

Raelle tilted her head so she could see her friend’s face, “You...you’ve seen snow, right?”

Abigail frowned, “What?”

“Snow?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Raelle’s brow twitch and her mouth quivered, “Tell me about snow.”

Abigail frowned harder, “Raelle, what does that…”

“Abigail.” Tally spoke up. The blaster looked at her.

Tally’s face was pale.

Her eyes were hard yet...shattered.

“What?” Abigail looked at her, confused, growing angry.

Tally inhaled deeply, “Tell her about snow.”

“Why…”

“Just do it.” Tally bit out, her eyes wet.

Abigail slowly nodded, “Ok. Ok.” She turned back to Raelle, racking her brain, “Snow. It’s...it’s cold. Wet. Looks nice but is hell to drive in.”

Raelle coughed again, a sickenly wet choking sound that caused her body to shiver, “Do...do you think Scylla’s seen snow?”

Abigail's eyes widened.

“Yeah, Rae. I think Scylla has seen snow.” Tally spoke gently, leaning in. 

“Yeah, yeah, I bet she has.” Raelle’s eyes began to droop. “I...I need to rest my eyes. Jus’ for a second.”

“Ok, Rae.” Tally gulped. “Rest your eyes. We’ll be here.”

Raelle’s voice began to fade, “Think Scylla will be mad?”

“No, she won’t be mad.”

“She’s...she’s good, Tal. She’s good.”

“I know.”

“Bet, she likes the snow.”

“Yes, Rae. She likes the snow”

Her voice began to drawl, wet and slow and soft, “I love her, Tal.”

“I know.” Tally squeezed her hand, “She knows, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Good.” A shallow breath, “Jus’ need ta rest for a bit.”

Raelle’s eyes closed.

She could see dark blue eyes surrounded by pearly white snow.

_Raelle wet her lips as she felt the brunette move closer. A hand, strong and warm, carefully dipped out of the front pocket of light denim jeans and hesitantly reached forward. She exhaled, a relieved sigh she didn’t know she had been holding in for days, weeks, months, when deft fingers curved around her own._

_They were quiet, only their mingled breaths breaking the silence of the room._

_Raelle allowed her gaze to trace up the form of her lover, over the unbuttoned coat revealing the thick sweatshirt underneath, protecting her thin body from the frigid chill descending upon the country. Up an elegant neck and along an inviting jaw to settle on a pale pink mouth, teeth chewing nervously at a bottom lip, the only sign of anxiety besides the flicker of caution in blue orbs and the bobbing of her throat._

_Finally opening her mouth, Scylla murmured, “Raelle.”_

_Raelle._

_God, she didn’t know how much she needed to hear her name fall from those lips until they did. Every time they were apart, she forgot. Mind filled with so much. Pain. Confusion. Regret. Hope. Lost in memories and tumbling through fear laced imagination manifested visions of the future._

_She forced herself to forget how much she missed her. Needed her. Wanted her._

_Loved her._

_Tightening her hand around Scylla’s, Raelle tugged her forward until they were in each other’s arms. She pressed her lips together harshly to hold in the sob that burned in her chest as a cold nose dug into the crook of her neck and a hand grabbed at the back of her uniform coat, holding on for dear life as they embraced for what felt like the first, the last, the only time._

_She buried her head in Scylla’s hair as she felt a drop of wetness splash against her shoulder._

_“Please,” Scylla whispered, the one word muffled but clear as day._

_Raelle hugged her harder._

_Please stay._

_Please don’t go._

_Please be safe._

_Please be ok._

_Please come back._

_Please._

_Please._

_Please._

_“I’ll see you soon.” Raelle rasped. She shuddered as Scylla’s fist pressed into her back and her mouth brushed against her skin._

_Scylla nodded. Her nose skimmed along Raelle’s jaw as she touched her mouth to her ear, “I love you.”_

_Raelle’s mouth shook._

_Scylla pulled back slightly. She held Raelle’s face in her hands, thumbs tracing the cut of her jaw, fingers pushing back her hair and sliding down the side of her neck. Touching, memorizing, comforting._

_Both leaned in, neither knowing who moved first and not caring._

_Their lips met, and Raelle forgot anything else existed except for the woman pressed against her. Forgot everything but blue eyes and happiness. She twisted the thick fabric of Scylla’s coat in her fists, urging her closer, needing more, always needing more._

_How could she ever forget, for even a moment, the feel of this girl?_

_The way her heart sped up and slowed down? The way it ached, called out, yearned for her?_

_How could she ever pretend she wasn’t in love with her? Would always be in love with her?_

_That there was no one else. Never would be. Never could be._

_Mouths breaking apart, Raelle inhaled deeply, forehead resting against Scylla’s temple._

_Before she could say anything, the door opened, and Abigail called out, “Time to go, Raelle.”_

_Their brief meeting had to end._

_The real world presented itself once again._

_A world where they were on opposite sides with a tenuous alliance in the face of a greater foe._

_A world where only a few knew of their relationship. Only a few could be trusted to understand._

_To witness two witches who only wanted to be safe and happy together._

_Snow swirled outside the window of the small room as Raelle slowly pulled away from Scylla._

_Words mixed with feelings inside of her, twisting and tangling into an incomprehensible mess._

_All she could do, before following after her unit, was lift Scylla’s hand to her mouth and press a kiss to the back of it._

_And hope this deployment went better than her first._

"It's cold, Scyl."

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I'm trying to work through a few other stories and the Schindler's List theme song comes on. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this little story. Good? Bad? You hated something? Didn't hate something? You know the drill. You want virtual non-tracking cookies? Read. Kudos. Comment. Go!
> 
> (Be gentle about grammar/spelling. This one got sent out quick, and I was not an English major in undergrad.)


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